CONCLUSION

The waitress appeared at that moment, refilling both their cups.

Amanda thanked her and then turned back to Lee. "You mean are things over between Joe and myself?" she asked quietly.

"Yeah." Lee nodded, watching her closely. "That's exactly what I'm asking. Is it over or do you want to go back and try again?"

Smiling up at him, with slightly teasing, sparkling eyes, Amanda waited for a mere moment. "Joe asked me tonight if I wanted to go back," she confessed.

Lee felt as if he could barely breathe. "And?" he prompted her.

"I'll tell you the same thing I told him. No. I don't want to go back. I want to go forward. I realized tonight that Joe is my past, but not my future. Everything I have ever desired is already right here in my life. I love where my life is headed. I have two great kids who are healthy, I have a roof over my head, a great job and really good friends." Giving Lee's hand a tender squeeze as she added warmly, "And one very special friend, who kinda got a little lost in the shuffle this past two days, and for that I'm very sorry."

"Apology accepted," responded Lee, with a slight tilt of his head, a quick smile and twinkling eyes. "So you're no longer even slightly tempted to try again with Joe? He wants you back, you know."

Amanda looked into the serious eyes of the man across the table from her, feeling somehow that the next few moments could be very important to their relationship and hoping she didn't muck this up.

"I don't know for sure what Joe wants," she replied with a shrug. "And I don't think he really does either. With everything that's happened over the past couple of days, he's in just as much of a jumble as I was. I think he was anxious and scared with this whole thing and I was just a light in the window for him." At Lee's questioning look, she attempted to explain what she was thinking.

"Look at it this way," she told him. "Joe was being set up to take the fall for a murder he didn't commit. Every law enforcement agency in two countries was looking for him, and he knew that the people behind everything were willing to play rough. He was running scared and didn't know whom he could trust. I was just someone safe and familiar to hang onto. He needed someone in his corner to believe in him and I was it."

"That's not the way he tells it," muttered Lee.

"Lee," Amanda's eyes showed her annoyance, "Joe is no more in love with me than I am with him. Eventually, he'll realize that."

Lee looked into her eyes, trying to read her very essence, wanting to believe what she was saying, but afraid that he was reading too much into her words.

"So you don't love Joe, any more?" he asked quietly, needing to know for sure, before he could really let his heart hope. Amanda's next words, were like having someone throw cold water on him.

"Of course, I love Joe. I'll always love him."

Lee felt like gnashing his teeth. Her words didn't make sense to him. "Amanda," he growled, "people don't love their exes. They hate them, they ignore them, they tolerate them, but they don't usually love them or enjoy spending time with them. You can't have it both ways. One minute you say your no longer in love with Joe and then the next you say that you do love him. Which is it?" he finished rather desperately.

Amanda tried to keep her smile in check, realizing that he really didn't get it. His life had been so different from hers. "It's both." As Lee's eyes flickered with warning, she allowed her smile to break loose.

"Lee, just because you're not in love with someone, doesn't mean that you can't love them. Joe and I had something really special at one time that produced two terrific boys and those memories will always be there. He will always have a place in my heart because he is the father of my children, and someone I have a lot of respect for."

Noticing that Lee's expression was closing up a bit more with each word she uttered, Amanda knew she needed to find a way to get his attention. She needed a way to bring home what she was trying to say. Or, she lit up with inspiration, a way to turn the table and put him on the defensive side.

"So, when's the wedding?" She tossed out the question brightly as if it fit right in with their conversation.

Completely thrown, Lee looked at her like she was going crazy. "What wedding?" he questioned, unsure of what was happening. Whose wedding was she talking about. One minute she was telling him how great Joe was and the next asking him a completely nonsensical question.

Amanda's voice was steady as was her expression, but her eyes were twinkling a little as she answered, "The one between you and Francine."

Lee felt like he had just been shoved into another universe. "Amanda, what are you talking about? There's nothing between Francine and myself. You know that."

"Oh?" Amanda questioned, pretending to be skeptical. "You'll have to excuse my confusion here. I mean, didn't you two use to be . . . hmm . . . didn't you two have a thing?"

Unsure of how they had gotten on the topic of Francine and his former relationship, Lee felt put on the spot. "Amanda, that was a long time ago. Long before I even met you. What does that have to do with anything?"

Amanda pinned him with a knowing look that had him squirming a bit, even though he didn't know why. "Well, you can understand my confusion," she started.

"Your confusion?" muttered Lee.

"Yes, my confusion, Amanda affirmed. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but don't you and Francine still handle cases together?"

"Of course we do," Lee spoke the words more loudly than he had intended, drawing the attention of several people near by. He lowered his voice to finish fiercely, "We work for the same Agency."

Amanda nodded her head in agreement, as if taking in the information. "Okay, point made. But how about all the bantering back and forth you two do, and I'm sure I saw you dancing with her just few weeks ago at that Embassy party. That wasn't work," Amanda pointed out shrugging her shoulders and giving her head a little shake. "Looked to me like you were kinda of enjoying yourself, Scarecrow."

Shaking his head vigorously as if trying to clear away the stupidity of this conversation, Lee just looked at Amanda in disbelief.

"Amanda, Francine is a friend, you know that. Yes, we had a thing at one time," his expression and hands emphasized the word 'thing' in deference to Amanda's aversion to the word ‘affair'. "But, as I just told you, that was over a long time ago." He heaved a frustrated sighed, still confused at this conversational turn. "Yes, we do still work together, we sometimes tease each other and we still dance together and enjoy each other's company." He glared at Amanda. She just raised her eyebrows at him questioningly, and continued to look at him, as if waiting for him to say something else. But he didn't know what else to say.

When she continued to just sit there watching him expectantly, he sighed in frustration. "Amanda, I like Francine as a friend, or like a sister. I am not in love with her, nor do I have any intention of marrying her, not now, not ever," he ground out the words.

As the outburst came to an end, silence hung heavy in the air between the pair at the table. Lee's eyes glaring into Amanda's, while hers looked back at him with a bit of a twinkle.

"Bingo!" Amanda voiced the single word quietly, bestowing a beautiful knowing smile on him. Then she sat silently, and just waited for things to sink in.

It took a moment for understanding to dawn and for the haze of confusion that was surrounding Lee to lift. When it did, he gave the woman opposite him an 'I'll get you for this' look and just shook his head in disbelief. "All of this," he motioned with his hand, indicating the preposterous conversation they had just been having, and then just paused, not knowing how to finish the statement.

Amanda just smiled at him in amusement. "Yes, all of this," she too waved her hand, mimicking his gesture, "was to make you realize how ridiculous your concern about Joe is."

"Lee, I love Joe like I would a brother, if I had one and he will always have a place in my life because of the boys. But, I am not the least bit attracted to him physically anymore, my interests lie," she hesitated for a mere beat. "Well, let's just say they lie. . . elsewhere. Yes, I enjoy Joe's company and want the best for him, but that's all," she finished firmly and sincerely, bringing a gentle smile to Lee's face.

"He already gave up the best." At Lee's quiet words, Amanda smiled up into his eyes, knowing that he was talking about her. "And I'm not going to let him have her back," he finished just as quietly, trying to let Amanda see the sincerity shining from his eyes, hoping that she could read a bit of his heart.

"Lee?" Amanda's startled response came. Her eyes held his as if trying to see into his very soul, trying to ascertain if he was trying to say what she thought he was saying.

Before Joe had shown up, Lee had been fairly certain of his place in Amanda's life. They were taking things slowly, but they were definitely moving forward. . . together Then this thing with Joe had happened, causing him to be uncertain of her feelings. Now he allowed his gaze to roam over her. She looked so beautiful sitting there with that soft questioning look on her face, a ray of hope dawning in her eyes, that he closed his eyes for a moment in relief. She wanted this as much as he did. He could see it in her expression, in her posture.

Picking up her hand and holding it in both of his, he gazed into her eyes, letting all the tenderness and love he felt for her shine forth. "Amanda, you must know how much I care for you. These past few weeks, spending time together away from work have been like glimpsing a slice of heaven."

The hope was shining stronger in Amanda's eyes. She felt sheer joy flood over her at his words. "I've enjoyed that time too," she told him smiling shyly.

The two just looked at each other, lost in each other's eyes, neither wanting to break the magic, neither knowing how to continue from here.

Suddenly, Amanda, felt a yawn coming on. It had been a long two days and she had only managed to catch about a half-hour of sleep earlier this morning. After that the day had flown by in a blur. It was now a little past midnight and her body was beginning to protest the lack of sleep. She was physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.

Seeing her sway slightly, as she daintily caught the tiny yawn, Lee shook his head. Here she was, almost dead on her feet and he was keeping her talking like an idiot. His eyes filled with tenderness as he watched her stifle another yawn. Sliding out of the booth, he held his hand out to her. "Let's get you home, you're reeling where you sit," he told her allowing the tenderness in his eyes to spill into his voice.

He guided her to the car and they drove the distance to her house in warm companionable silence, Lee's hand reaching out to hold her's when he wasn't using it to shift. By the time they reached her house, Amanda was asleep, leaning back against her seat. He pulled up just past the completely quiet house, and turned off the car.

Looking over at Amanda, he wished he could just let her continue drifting in sleep and kidnap her to his apartment, but he knew they weren't ready for anything like that yet. Their feelings were too new, too fresh, too pure, like fragile flowers pushing their way up through the earth and he didn't want to rush anything. For the first time in his life, he wanted to take his time and enjoy the journey rather than rush straight to the goal.

Reaching out to awaken her, he allowed his fingers to carefully push back a stray tendril of hair, before moving to her shoulder. "Amanda," he whispered tenderly, shaking her shoulder a little bit, "You're home." She awoke almost too quickly for Lee, who wouldn't have minded a few extra minutes alone with her.

"Come on," he told her gently, "I'll walk you to your back door." Getting out of the car, he walked around to assist her out, tightening his grip slightly when she seemed to stagger a bit unsteadily. Quietly they made their way around back. Amanda was slightly more alert from the walk in the night air, but walking erratically, as if it was an effort to put one foot in front of the other. "You're almost there, Cinderella," he reassured her teasingly.

When they reached her back door, Lee reached around her to open it. "Are you going to be okay, from here?" he questioned, concerned. "Maybe, I should help you up the stairs," he continued. "I could tuck you in!" he offered, only partially teasing.

Amanda gave a tired chuckle. "You are not going to tuck me in Scarecrow. I'll be fine." Even as she spoke the words, a wave of tiredness washed over her, almost bringing her to her knees. Lee reached out quickly to steady her. Glancing at her face, he realized that she was almost asleep standing up. He knew she would never make it up the stairs.

"Look Amanda," he told her. "At least let me help you to the couch. You're dead on your feet. I don't want you falling down those stairs trying to get to the top of them."

Not giving her an opportunity to protest, he quickly bent and lifted her in his arms. "Lee!" She protested weakly, but he ignored her.

"Shh," he warned her "you don't want to wake your mother, do you?" Shouldering the door the rest of the way open, he carried her through the kitchen and into the den. Feeling her body relax completely in his arms, he knew that she had already drifted off into sleep. Laying her gently on the couch, he removed her shoes, setting them haphazardly on the floor. He smiled as she curled up slightly and turned to get more comfortable. Glancing around the darkened room, he could just make out an afghan lying across a nearby chair, where Dotty must have thrown it. Lifting it, he quietly shook it out and then covered Amanda.

Squatting down beside the couch, he could see her sleeping face in the moonlight shining through a window. For a moment, he just stared at her, allowing all the tenderness, all the love, he felt for her to shine in his face. Reaching out to push that errant tendril back in place once more, he allowed his finger to slide slowly down her cheek.

"Amanda King," he told her quietly,. "You are one special lady. Only a stupid fool would let someone like you get away." He smiled tenderly, as he leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead. "And no one's ever called me stupid," he assured her with all the sincerity in his heart. Giving her one more caressing look, he turned and quietly let himself out.

The End