AMAZONS

BY DAVID BARLOW

MALONE: The women were expecting us home yesterday.

CHALLENGER: Where is your scientific curiosity? Those women can look after themselves.

ROXTON: You know, Malone, I’ve a good mind to leave him.

MALONE: You think he’d notice?

MALONE: The Sithians’ legend said the Amazons kept men for one purpose only…procreation.

ROXTON: You say it like it’s a bad thing, Malone.

ROXTON: Forget your schoolboy stories, Malone. The Amazons were myth; these women are very real.

MALONE: I still think the sooner we get out of here, the better.

ROXTON: I think any man would be a fool not to relax and enjoy the scenery.

MARGUERITE: Maybe they’re not hungry. Maybe they just want to talk.

VERONICA: You want to stop and ask?

MARGUERITE: No, I’m just trying to be optimistic.

VERONICA: That’s a change.

ROXTON: You know, Malone old boy, I refuse to let your misplaced puritan morality ruin what promises to be a delightful evening.

MALONE: You think I’m suspicious of these women because I’m a prude? Do you know there are spiders that eat their mates right after? The preying mantis; she bites his head off during the act. Yeah, and he keeps on going blissfully unaware.

ROXTON: Hmmm, what a way to go.

ROXTON: What kept you?

MARGUERITE: Well, I wasn’t sure you wanted me to interrupt.

MARGUERITE: I had no idea you went in for this sort of thing, john.

ROXTON: A complete ruse. Play-acting to get the advantage.

MARGUERITE: Ah, and they say the best acting comes from life.

MALONE: Veronica! Oh boy, am I ever glad to see you.

VERONICA: Sure! Can’t handle just one?

VERONICA: You know, we kind of had a tough time getting here. The least you could’ve done is try to escape.

MALONE: What; you don’t think I was enjoying this do you? (VERONICA SMILES AT HIM, DISBELIEVINGLY) You think it’s easy fighting off two lithe, energetic, young, aggressive women? You should try it sometime.

VERONICA: I did! You got to watch!

ROXTON: Do we?

MARGUERITE: What?

ROXTON: Have to try?

MARGUERITE: Of course. We need each other…like a cat needs a ball of string.

ROXTON: What about you, Challenger? Ready to sleep for a week?

CHALLENGER: What? No, I wasn’t thinking about Selina.

MALONE: Ah, Selina! What exactly did happen between the two of you?

CHALLENGER: I found her very stimulating. (MALONE LAUGHS) Intellectually stimulating.

ROXTON: Did you serve your purpose?

CHALLENGER: I’m not sure what you’re implying.

VERONICA: What about you?

MALONE: Oh, nothing. Nothing happened. Nothing at all.

VERONICA: I mean, are you ready to serve your purpose?

MALONE: Yeah, sure, I guess.

VERONICA: Oh good. (THROWS RAG AT HIM) It’s your turn to fix the elevator.

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SEASON TWO

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