IF I WERE IN ASPEN

(Tune:  If I Were A Blackbird)

If I were in Aspen, I'd go out and ski,

But I have a partner who's always busy.

She thinks there's a mystery, so what can I do?

If she's in LA then I must stay here too.

One day, we'll be able to dance without fear

That gunmen or killers will chance to appear.

We'll kiss and no gunshots will shatter the spell,

Oh yes, I'm a dreamer, but don't I dream well?

Down in Acapulco, I thought we'd a chance,

The honeymoon suite, what a place for romance!

But Mildred pursued us.  No chance to caress,

When you're being checked out by the bold IRS.