PART 4

Amanda jabbed her right elbow into her attacker's ribs, simultaneously stamping on the top of his foot with all her strength. The man gasped, and muffled a cry of pain. She struggled to free her hands. Suddenly she realized that; although, she was being held tightly, the man made no attempt to hurt her. Puzzled, she stopped resisting, and heard a familiar voice.

"Ouch! Amanda, hold on, it's me!" She heard Lee's strong voice. She looked up to find herself stuffed into an airplane restroom with Lee Stetson! Her body relaxed completely as Lee slid his hand from her mouth to her waist. "I'm sorry. I just had to talk to you! I was going crazy all these hours watching you, and not being able to speak to you…or touch you." Lee's arms were wrapped tightly around her from behind, his hands stroking up and down her long bare arms.

"Oh, Lee! Is this really you? What are you doing?" she whispered, trying to keep her voice from breaking with emotion. "You scared me half to death! Stop it! Why are you doing this?"

"Shhh. Please, let me say this," Lee asked plaintively, the filter between his brain and his mouth totally non-functional. "There's a lot I need to tell you. I've missed you, so much! Oh, Amanda, I love you! I'm sorry about everything that's happened. I can't explain why I did the things I did, but I want to make it up to you, if it takes the rest of my life!"

Lee ran his hands down her long, exposed arms. When his hands reached hers, he held them both in his. It was then that he felt a wedding set on her left hand. Lee's heart fell 35,000 feet, and crashed into the icy ocean. It was too late. His body stiffened.

"I'm sorry about this." Lee gestured around the restroom. " I shouldn't have done this. I shouldn't have said anything. The last thing I want to do is break up a marriage!"

"I know," Amanda replied sadly, misunderstanding. "Me, either. I never wanted to come between you and Leslie. That's one reason I left the Agency."

"But I'm not married to Leslie, or anyone else for that matter." Lee said, confused.

"Then what are we talking about?" Amanda asked, suddenly realizing they were in the middle of two totally different conversations. "And where have you been all this time, if you feel that way? It's been months, and you never called…never stopped by! I thought you didn't care if I was dead or alive!"

"Didn't care? Nothing could be further from the truth. I never asked Leslie to marry me. The things you said made me think, and I realized I was about to propose to the wrong woman. I'm not seeing Leslie anymore. I don't want to see anyone, but you anymore." Lee spilled his guts, all the while holding her hands and stroking her fingers. "But I waited too long. It's too late," he added dejectedly.

Puzzled, she tilted her head and looked at him. He pulled her hand in front of her face, pointing to the rings. "I was talking about this! You're a married lady! Oh, Amanda! I'm sorry I took so long to get myself together! I was so confused. I never thought that I might be too late. If you tell me, honestly, that you love this guy more than me, I'll leave you alone, I promise. But if you still have feelings for me, I'll do everything in my power to steal you away from him!"

"Of course I don't love him! He's an agent!" Amanda hissed.

"Oh, no! What did I do? Did I push you into a loveless marriage with another agent? I've really ruined both our lives, haven't I?" Lee rambled, unable to prevent his every thought from escaping through his lips. Lee suddenly felt sick to his stomach, but he swallowed hard. There was no room for him to be sick in here now!

"No, I'm an agent, too!" Amanda turned awkwardly in his arms, and placed his hand under the back of her shirt. Lee was shocked at what she was doing, but then did a double take as he felt the semiautomatic pistol tucked into the waistband of her jeans. He had to pull her shirt up, and look, to be sure!

"That's what I'm doing here, silly. I'm part of a team of undercover agents that provide security on international flights. Were undercover as a married couple." She whispered so softly that Lee could barely hear her.

Lee twisted around to face Amanda, and began covering her face and lips in soft kisses. All the feelings she had fought to suppress for so many months came flooding over her like breaking waves. Overcome, she collapsed against him. His strong arms caught her weight, and held her close to him.

He took his fourth step back from the brink.

"Can I see you in Rome?" Lee gasped, breathless.

Amanda shook her head. "I'm not staying in Rome," she whispered. "We're going on to Athens, Istanbul, Frankfurt, and Paris before heading home the middle of the week."

"I'll be home by Friday or Saturday, at the latest." Lee promised. "Can I see you then?" he asked, wrapping his arms around her shoulders. He couldn't resist peeking under her shirt at her gun, again, shaking his head in disbelief.

"The weekend's fine," Amanda said nodding, "I have something to wrap up before we see each other."

Lee looked suddenly concerned. "Wrap up?" He asked tentatively. "You mean…a relationship…with a man?"

"Well, I wouldn't be carrying on with a woman!" Amanda laughed at Lee. "Look, I'm supposed to be working, I've got to get out of here! Call me when you get back to DC."

Lee pulled her close for one more kiss before releasing her, and opening the bathroom door. Amanda exited first, followed by a thoroughly cramped Lee.

"Oh, my gosh!" Amanda whispered, finding herself facing a rather long line of passengers waiting to use the restroom! Her face flushed a deep red when she saw none other than Francine Desmond among them. Lee, noticing the throng crowding the aisle, pulled himself up to his full six foot two inches, smirked mightily, and winked at Francine before returning to his seat.

When Francine retook her seat, sometime later, she refused to look at Lee. "That was the most disgusting display I have ever…!" she sputtered, putting her headphones on, and ignoring Lee for the rest of the flight.

*******************************

When Lee returned to his desk in the Q-bureau, several days later, he found six messages from Paul Barnes on his desk. Anxious to call Amanda to plan their first real date, Lee decided to wait until the following day to return Paul's calls.

Lee phoned Amanda to suggest he pick her up at 8:00 for an Embassy reception. He was shocked and confused by her reply.

"You're working, aren't you?" was her quiet response. Lee heard Amanda draw a deep breath. "Uh, no, that's not going to work for me. Maybe we should try another time?"

Lee couldn't believe his ears! A hundred confused thoughts raged through his mind at once. Hadn't they planned to get together? Didn't she want him? Did she have second thoughts about ending her other relationship?

All he could say was "Why not? What's wrong?" The words seemed inadequate for the thoughts that swirled through his mind.

"I don't work for the Agency any more. I'm not your partner, assistant, errand girl…or whatever, anymore," Amanda said as softly as she could. She wasn't angry, but she hadn't dropped Paul like a hot rock to spend the evening hanging around a party, while Lee worked. "I want to be part of your personal life, Lee. I want you to seek me out because you want my company, not because it looks pitiful for you to appear without a date."

Lee winced as she threw his words in his face. He had treated her as an ornament, a decoration, when they had attended previous events, left her to stand around the room while he worked, and berated her if she appeared to be having any fun when he returned. In a flash, he understood what form their relationship needed to take. There would be no more hiding from her family in the flower beds, no more sneaking in and out the back door. He wouldn't hide her from his friends and co-workers, either. He was flooded with relief at the thought. He imagined how proud he would be to walk into a room with Amanda on his arm!

There was silence on the phone. Amanda was waiting for him to say something, anything. Lee shook himself from his thoughts. "I can get out of it," he assured her. "Is there anything in particular you would like to do? Or should I plan something?"

"Anything that doesn't involve meeting anyone, using any cover story, or waiting alone in the car will be fine with me," Amanda said honestly.

While they were talking, Francine strode into the Q-bureau, and into the vault. Lee pretended not to notice her as he continued his conversation in a different vein. "It's a tremendous opportunity to see and be seen, I don't think I want to pass that up. I'm not sure that anyone else could handle it."

Amanda laughed on her end of the phone, knowing who had entered the room, and how Lee planned to get out of his duties at the reception.

************************

Lee picked her up that evening, and as promised, the night was strictly personal. They went to a rather unknown play, and; though, Lee didn't have any idea what was happening, Amanda was obviously enjoying it. Lee enjoyed holding her hand through the entire production. They enjoyed a late dinner at a quiet, romantic restaurant where Amanda explained the entire play to him. Lee enjoyed Amanda's animated explanation more than the show!

They were finishing dessert, when Lee asked Amanda the question that had been on his mind for days.

"So how did it go?" He asked, shifting nervously in his chair.

"How did what go?" Amanda asked, puzzled by the sudden turn in the conversation.

"That thing," Lee was clearly uncomfortable. "That you said you needed to wrap up. Did you? How did it go?"

Amanda drew a deep breath, and let it out slowly, nervously picking at her pie with her fork. "Yes, it's over. I called him as soon as I got back. It went about as well as could be expected, I guess." She said with a twinge of sadness.

Lee winced, "Ouch! You did it over the phone?" he asked quietly. He was surprised that Amanda would dump a guy without seeing him face to face. "Not that I'm sorry, hey, I'd rather you break his heart than mine!"

"Oh, I don't think it was that bad." Amanda let out a little laugh. "I wouldn't say I broke his heart. But he wasn't all that happy about it, either." Amanda paused a moment before continuing, knowing she should tell Lee the rest, knowing he would probably find out sometime, anyway. "I just didn't have it in me to fly off to London to do the deed in person."

A quiet "Oh," was Lee's only reply as he suddenly became engrossed in his wine. He picked up his glass in his left hand, and gently swirled the contents. "That might explain the stack of messages from Paul." He continued softly.

Amanda, uncharacteristically speechless, could only stare at the tablecloth and nod.

"Care to tell me what happened between you two?" Lee asked, his voice taking a harder edge.

"It wasn't exactly on my list of fun and romantic things to talk about tonight, but if it's important to you…" Amanda sighed, picked up her fork absentmindedly, and continued without looking Lee in the eye.

"Paul's a friend of the Vice President for Security at Global. When I was looking for a job, Paul knew the airline had openings. I applied and was hired. We started talking on the phone regularly. Next thing I knew, I was visiting him in London." Amanda paused and glanced up.

Lee beckoned her to continue, "And…?"

Amanda suddenly felt like a suspect being interrogated. "And…what?" she asked, not wanting to continue any further.

"And what did you do together in London?" Lee asked, becoming more than a little irritated.

"We went sightseeing! We went dancing! We walked. We talked…about…things," Amanda answered defensively. She understood what he was really asking, but saw no reason to make this easy for him. After all, it was none of his business, she was an adult, and she wasn't cheating on Lee by any stretch of the imagination.

Lee fell silent for a long moment, trying to find the words for his question. "I don't mean to be indelicate, but what exactly were your sleeping arrangements?"

Amanda stared at him, shocked. "Lee Stetson, how dare you ask that? What are you thinking?"

Lee sighed, and relaxed. Of course, this was Amanda, suburban mother of two. What was he thinking? Of course, it was all completely innocent. It was ridiculous to even ask her that.

But then she continued, hotly. "Honestly! I never asked you any nosy questions about your…sleeping arrangements…with Leslie! Or Crystal, Candi, Cindi, or even Randi Baby!" Amanda counted off the list of names on her fingers, and then waved her hand to indicate the unknown, unnamed others.

Lee's mouth was moving before his mind finished the thought. "You knew damn well and good…" His voice trailed off as he realized the implication.

Amanda was staring at him angrily with raised eyebrows, her lips pursed tightly.

"Oh…Amanda! I've done some stupid things, but at least I never treated you like that!" Lee tried to dig his way out of the hole he now found himself in.

"Like what…exactly?" Amanda replied coolly.

"Like a…" Lee paused and tried to start over. "Amanda, if there's a man alive who has a worse reputation than me, it's Paul Barnes. After you left, he probably had another woman in his bed before the sheets were cold!"

Amanda dropped her fork, stunned. She looked away from Lee, trying to compose herself, drumming her fingers on the table.

Lee gasped as he heard the words leave his lips, wishing he could call them back. He leaned forward, prepared to stop her if she tried to leave the table. He tried to think how to fix things, but since words and emotions were never his strong suit, all that came to mind was, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way."

Lee was certain that Amanda was going to run out the door, out of his life, forever. He couldn't take his eyes off her; afraid she would disappear, forever. He was shocked by the quiet words she spoke next.

"You may be right," Amanda finally spoke, looking into Lee's eyes. "Maybe there was another woman under the bed the entire time I was there. It doesn't really matter. Paul didn't look at anyone else while he was with me. He gave me his complete and undivided attention. No women called him, no one dropped in. I had a phone number where he could be reached anytime. Whenever I called, he never gave me the `bum's rush.'

Amanda paused before she drew a deep breath and continued in a near whisper. "I felt treasured and desired for the first time in a very long time. I needed that. Was that so wrong?"

Lee's voice cracked as he answered quietly. "No, nothing wrong at all." He reached across the small table to take her hand. "Except that it should have been me to treasure and desire you. I'm the one to blame for this whole mess. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yeah. I think I can forgive you." Amanda squeezed his hand, and added with a sly smile, "Just this one time."

He took his fifth step back from the brink.

Lee knew his life was no longer tottering on the brink of disaster, but he knew he had a lot to do before it was on solid footing again. Though Amanda had forgiven him, he had a lot of things to make up to her, a little bit at a time, day by day. He also knew that he would still miss their professional life together. He hoped that in time, they could repair that as well. But first, he had a very important question to ask her.

"Amanda, honey, are you going to eat the rest of your pie? I'm still hungry."