ICE AGE

BY SHANE BRENNAN AND GUY MULLALLY

ROXTON: How long do you think he’ll be?

MARGUERITE: What did you have in mind?

ROXTON: Oh, I don’t know…a game of cards perhaps, or spin the bottle.

MARGUERITE: Shouldn’t you light the fire?

ROXTON: I’m trying.

MARGUERITE: What time is it?

CHALLENGER: Six o’clock.

MARGUERITE: Ugh!

CHALLENGER: Oh come on, Marguerite, we’ve got a meteorite to explore. First thing in the morning, you said.

MARGUERITE: I meant closer to lunchtime.

MARGUERITE: Maybe I’ll head back to the tree house and let you two enthusiasts have your fun.

ROXTON: You go right ahead. I’m sure that T-Rex we saw last night is miles away by now.

CHALLENGER: A T-Rex would be a fool to tangle with Marguerite before she’s had her morning coffee.

ROXTON: You hear that?

MARGUERITE: No, I don’t hear anything.

ROXTON: Exactly, no birds, no monkeys, nothing at all.

MARGUERITE: All flown south for the winter perhaps?

CHALLENGER: Monkeys don’t fly, Marguerite.

MARGUERITE: I was making a joke, George.

ROXTON (to Marguerite): Care for that hot bath? Just how you like it – hot and swampy.

MARGUERITE: Did I mention how much I dislike the cold? If you were a gentleman, you’d offer me your shirt and vest.

ROXTON: Well if I did, you’d want my trousers too and who knows where that might lead.

CHALLENGER: Oh, that meteorite must be huge, which means it’s going to get very chilly indeed.

ROXTON: Oh, I’ve already got a chill which represents a strong case for sharing body warmth, (to Marguerite) wouldn’t you agree?

MARGUERITE: Yeah? You and Challenger make a lovely couple.

CHALLENGER: It’s definitely getting colder.

MARGUERITE: You say that like it’s cause for celebration.

MARGUERITE: He’s insane, completely stark raving mad.

ROXTON: True enough, but I said I’d follow him to hell and back.

MARGUERITE: Even if it freezes over?

CHALLENGER: She’s going to die if we don’t start warming her up immediately.

MARGUERITE: She’s not the only one.

ROXTON (watching Marguerite chopping wood): You’re getting pretty handy with that thing.

MARGUERITE: Just trying to keep warm.

ROXTON: And are you?

MARGUERITE: I can think of better ways.

ROXTON: Marguerite, are you flirting with me?

MARGUERITE: Must be the thought of possible extinction, brings out the worst in me.

ROXTON: Or the best.

MARGUERITE: I don’t know why I’m smiling, by tomorrow we could all be solid chunks of ice.

ROXTON: Your smile could melt a polar icecap.

MARGUERITE: Oh, now who’s flirting?

MARGUERITE: What is going to happen to us?

ROXTON: We’ll get through this, we always do.

MARGUERITE: But I’m so cold.

ROXTON: Oh, come here (he pulls her into a hug) and I’ll warm you up.

ICE GOON: I serve my Queen in a war against all warm bloods.

MARGUERITE: Let me go and I’ll show you just how cold-blooded a girl can be.

CHALLENGER: You and I have been here before, John.

ROXTON: Yeah, maybe one too many times.

MARGUERITE: One man’s better than a million frozen units.

CHALLENGER: I can save the world, but what good’s the world without friends?

MARGUERITE: I want to go home. I really need a hot bath and a roaring fire.

ROXTON: I think that can be arranged…as long as you chop the wood.

CHALLENGER: There’s an old Chinese proverb that says, woman who chops firewood gets warm twice.

ROXTON: How are you feeling?

MARGUERITE: Icky.

SEASON THREE

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