CHAPTER 9 – Building Up the Walls

"You okay?" Willow asked as she walked over to her friend and came to a stop by her side.

Elizabeth looked up and nodded. "Yeah, it's…just for a minute there, I couldn't take anymore, you know?"

"I know," the redhead assured her with a smile. Picking up the tray Elizabeth had put down, she took it over to the sink then began rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher.

The blonde went over to help and glanced over at her friend. "So, what did you think of him? You seemed to get on well," she commented unable to keep the slightly accusing tone out of her voice.

Willow sighed. "To be honest, Elizabeth, if you hadn't told me anything about him before hand, I'd say he was a pretty nice guy," she told her honestly.

The blonde nodded. "If I didn't already know him, I'd have to agree," she admitted quietly. "But it's all fake. He was just being nice because of Uncle Rupert and you. I know the real William."

The redhead turned to look at her friend with a slight frown. "Are you sure?"

The blonde bristled slightly at her friends' tone. "After what he said to me this afternoon? I think the answer to that question is obvious, Will," she said, anger darkening her eyes slightly. "And I'd rather not talk about him any more thank you very much."

She turned away and Willow stared at her friend's rigid back in silence. Intuition told her that William wasn't really a bad guy but she knew that Elizabeth wasn't in any state of mind to hear that kind of opinion at the moment. It would be better to leave things for now and see how they go. If William was a horrible person then he'd show his real colours soon enough. Until then, she'd reserve judgement and be the supportive friend she should be.

"Okay, I'm sorry, Elizabeth," Willow said quietly. "I won't say another word."

Elizabeth turned back and bit her lip as she watched the redhead close the dishwasher door and hit the button to begin the cycle. "No, Will, I'm the one that should be saying sorry. I had no right to snap at you like that. I'm just…I'm kind of all over the place at the moment, you know?"

The redhead sighed then nodded and returned Elizabeth's tentative smile with a reassuring one of her own. "Don't worry, everything will be fine, just wait and see. And don't forget that I'm here for you no matter what, okay?"

"Thanks Will, you're the bestest friend ever," Elizabeth said as she stepped forward and pulled her friend into a hug.

"I know," the redhead replied and both girls giggled as they broke apart, the tenseness of moments before forgotten.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal William who entered carrying his and Giles' empty plates. Immediately the relaxed air changed to an almost tangible tension that had him freeze in his tracks. Knowing he was the cause, he swallowed down his frustration and adopted an impassive mask as he strolled over to the table and put down the plates. "Rupert wants some coffee. Is it okay if I go ahead and make some?" he asked, taking a step towards the kettle.

"No!" Elizabeth said sharply, causing him to stop and look over at her. Clearing her throat nervously as his questioning gaze settled on her, Elizabeth glanced over at Willow and then back at William. The last thing she needed right now was to have him standing about the kitchen with them. He'd be so close. Too close.

"I…I mean, Uncle Rupert doesn't like instant…he only drinks filter. I'll make it and bring it in before I go up," she told him awkwardly. "You go back and talk to Uncle Rupert. I'm sure there's a lot you have to discuss."

For a minute William looked as if he might object and insist on doing it himself but then he merely shrugged and gave a brief nod of assent before leaving the room.

Elizabeth let out a relieved sigh and Willow walked over to the filter machine. "Don't worry, I'll do it," she offered, seeing how pale her friend had gone.

"No Will, it's okay. I'll be fine," Elizabeth said with a grateful smile. "You go home and call Oz. Maybe you can salvage the rest of the evening instead of wasting time here. I mean, it's just coffee…nothing's going to happen with my uncle there and then I'll go straight upstairs."

The redhead's eyes brightened at the thought of seeing her fiancé and Elizabeth felt a pang of guilt that she hadn't insisted that Willow go before.

"Are you sure?" Willow asked hopefully, torn between wanting to spend some time with Oz and leaving her friend when she was so obviously rattled.

"Positive," Elizabeth assured her. "Now go. And thanks for everything tonight."

Willow gave the blonde a hug and said goodnight then went through to the dining room and bade farewell to Giles and William before leaving.

Ten minutes later, Elizabeth had made the coffee and, after taking a deep calming breath, went through to the dining room. The men were deep in conversation but as soon as William noticed her, he stood up to take the tray from her hands. Their fingers brushed and Elizabeth instinctively jerked her hand away which caused the crockery to rattle violently on the tray and a spoon to fall onto the table and bounce over to where her uncle sat.

He picked it up and eyed it with a frown then raised his gaze to his niece. "Elizabeth are you feeling quite well? You appear to be a trifle clumsy tonight," he stated in concern.

Elizabeth's eyes widened. "I…I'm fine," the blonde lied. "Just a little tired, I guess." She glanced at William who regarded her a knowing look and slight smile.

"Well, perhaps you'd do better to leave the book tonight and go straight to bed, my dear," her uncle suggested.

"I think I will," agreed Elizabeth, turning to go. "Night."

"Goodnight Elizabeth," said William in a husky voice that had her pausing and turning to look at him.

"Goodnight William," she murmured in response then hurried out of the room and up the stairs.

Once in her room, she grabbed her nightgown and robe then went next door into the bathroom. Twenty minutes later, she re-emerged tightly clutching the robe around her and walked back to her room. She could hear her uncle and William still talking and thought how indicative it was of the differing attitudes between men and women after spending the night together. Here she was agonising over the incident ever since she'd first seen William that afternoon and there he was apparently having no problem in dismissing the whole thing from his mind and spending the evening chatting with her uncle in complete relaxation and enjoyment.

Life was really unfair at times.

She got into bed and let out a long sigh then closed her eyes hoping that she'd soon drift off into slumber. Fifteen minutes later, she opened them again and angrily turned on her stomach, trying to dismiss the foreign emotions and feelings that were crowding her brain and body.

She didn't want William here, invading her life, disturbing her peace, making her tell lies. She didn't want him reminding her of what she'd done and most of all, she didn't want him here because of the way he made her feel…about herself…about him.

'You're a fool,' she told herself with derision. A fool because she'd broken all her own rules and beliefs when she'd had a fleeting moment of panic that life was passing her by. And then, to compound her folly, she'd weaved idiotic and impossible dreams of 'what if's' and 'maybes' so that when she'd been confronted by the reality of him, he had easily torn through the thin shrouds of self-protection she'd cloaked herself and her actions in. Every romantic illusion she'd fooled herself with had been stripped away by his careless assumption that she would be happy to indulge in a meaningless affair.

She'd been shocked, not only because of how much it'd hurt but also because she'd realised just how far she'd allowed herself to travel down the road of disillusionment. It was a sobering insight that she knew she wouldn't forget in a long while.

The stairs creaked and she cursed herself for automatically lifting her head to hear better. The sound of footsteps on the staircase and along the landing was followed by a muffled goodnight spoken between the two men and she lay her head down again when the doors to their respective rooms opened and closed.

Turning onto her back, she felt an odd unfamiliar strand of sensation wend its way through her body and with a horrified gasp she suddenly realised what it was…

Disappointment!

A sharp dart of self-disgust coiled through her system and she numbly shook her head in a vain attempt to dispel the feeling. How could she be disappointed that he'd gone straight to bed for heaven's sake? She certainly didn't want him to just casually walk in and…and what? Demand that she sleep with him?

The thought sent a shiver of desire through her body that had her vigorously plumping up her pillows and turning back onto her front. Burying her face into the soft down, she determinedly ignored the tingling ache that now radiated from her core and tried to relax.

It was a long time before she got to sleep that night.

xxxxxxxxx

William pulled the covers up to his chest then let out a long sigh as he thought of Elizabeth lying in her big bed all alone in the next room. It had been an extremely draining day where his emotions had risen and fallen as if he were on a huge roller coaster. The joy he'd felt at seeing her again had been nothing compared to the depths of despair he'd sunk to upon learning of her engagement.

He turned his head and stared into the darkness at the wall that separated their rooms. She was there. Just a few feet away. He could be in her room and filling both that ridiculous bed and her in mere seconds if he wanted to…but he didn't. He wouldn't. Not until she admitted something special had happened between them that night. That she wanted him as much as he wanted her. That she felt…something for him. And she would. He was determined and…and…painfully hard, he realised ruefully.

"Wonderful," he muttered morosely to himself as he contemplated the option of relieving himself but rejected it almost immediately. Wouldn't do to mess up the sheets and he couldn't take the chance that either Rupert or Elizabeth wouldn't decide to use the bathroom just as he walked out into the hallway. Would be a little difficult to explain away his obvious arousal.

Sitting up, he twisted his torso then punched the pillows in frustration and turned over onto his front. Burying his face in the soft down, he simultaneously ground his pelvis into the mattress in an attempt to relieve his aching member and let out a low groan.

It was a long time before he got to sleep that night.

xxxxxxxxx

The next morning, Elizabeth entered the kitchen wearing her usual attire of jeans and loose blouse. Fastening her hair into a ponytail, she walked over to the fridge and got out some eggs and milk.

When she'd awoken that morning, Elizabeth had decided that her behaviour the day before could be excused because of her surprise at William's unexpected appearance. Today however, today she was in control, prepared and very, very determined to stand up to anything he said or did. He was just another colleague of her uncle's and she would treat him as such. Cool politeness was the way to go…nothing more.

The sound of the back door opening had her head snap around in surprise. Uncle Rupert never beat her downstairs, which could only mean…

"Good morning," William greeted amiably as he closed the door behind him.

Cool politeness. Cool politeness. "Morning," she replied forcing herself to look at him while inwardly cringing at the breathiness of her tone.

They stared at each other for a moment. "I've just been out for a walk," he explained unnecessarily. "I couldn't sleep and the garden has been calling me since yesterday. It's bigger than I realised."

"It's a bit overgrown," Elizabeth admitted stiltedly. "I just don't get the time."

She turned away to get some mugs out of the cupboard above her head then switched on the kettle to boil. A slight noise from behind made her look over her shoulder and she was startled to see that William had moved closer to her enabling her to smell the cool sharp scent of the early morning air that clung to him from his walk.

"While I'm here, maybe I can help you work on it?" he suggested easily.

"Maybe," she muttered non-committedly before looking away again. "Breakfast won't be long if you want to go and get ready," she added in a dismissive tone, hoping he'd take the hint and leave.

William tutted. "I thought you were Rupert's assistant, not his housekeeper," he challenged, almost angrily.

She turned around to face him at that. "I enjoy looking after him," she retorted defensively, her body stiffening with resentment at all the years of listening to her parent's bewilderment at the totally alien urge to nurture that she seemed to possess. "Not everyone wants to strive for academic or material success; we don't all want to climb mountains and…and conquer the world, you know?"

William regarded her in silence. He hadn't meant to upset her with his comment, it just didn't sit well that she waited on everyone hand and foot. He suspected from the way she'd spoken though, that she was getting more off her chest than just annoyance at his observation. This had obviously been a bone of contention with someone else before now. Her fiancé perhaps? He hoped not. He'd hate to have something in common with the absent twit.

"I'm sorry," he finally replied. "If you're happy looking after the running of the house then far be it for me to say anything." He gave her a small smile. "You know, contentment is a state of mind that far too few people rarely find. Best not let go of it just because it might not be what other people expect."

Elizabeth was taken aback at his insight and looked at him warily. He seemed sincere…and suddenly even nearer than before. Without even knowing she was doing it, she leaned in closer to him until she was within touching distance. "I know how lucky I am," she said with as much dignity as she could muster.

"And does your fiancé know how lucky he is?"

The soft voiced question was as effective as having a bucket of cold water thrown over her and she immediately took a step back from him, distancing herself. When had she gotten so close? Or was it he that had moved again? She didn't know any more.

She'd been so intent on defending herself from what she'd perceived as his criticism of her way of life - the same as she'd often received from her parents in the past - that she'd completely forgotten about everything else. She stared at him speechless, unaware of the confusion that clouded her eyes and the way they flared with a sudden hint of fear as she recalled her current situation.

William's jaw tightened in irritation. What the hell was the matter with the man that he could induce such uncertainty and low self-esteem in the woman he was supposed to love? he wondered bitterly. What was their relationship based on that she felt the need to lose herself and her innocence in the arms of a stranger? Why, whenever he mentioned the prat, did she seem to tense up…what did that mean?

A cold finger of dread crawled up his spine. He couldn't be violent to her could he? It'd explain a great many things if he were. William's insides churned unpleasantly at the thought of anyone harming the petite woman in front of him and his hands curled into tight fists at his side. Unable to look at the pain in her face any longer, he abruptly turned away and tried to rein in his sudden flare of temper against a man he hoped he'd never meet.

Elizabeth watched him turn away and immediately thought that he must have somehow or other sensed that tiny betraying twist of sensation inside her. That he must have known of that ridiculous helpless yearning deep inside, compelling her to move closer to him even though she remained frozen in place, immobilised by the strength of her feelings.

"I have to get on with breakfast," she informed him curtly.

"Of course, " William agreed, throwing her a grim glance over his shoulder. "And I have to go and get changed. Rupert's coming to the University with me this morning."

She remained silent as he quickly strode out of the kitchen leaving her to sag back against the worktop behind her and fervently wish that she'd never, ever met him.

TBC IN CHAPTER 10

FEEDBACK WELCOME

BACK TO STORY INDEX

NEXT CHAPTER