THE NEW AVENGERS
QUOTE PAGES
"FACES"
In this episode
Gambit and Purdey have to pretend they’re not really themselves in order to
infiltrate a group of criminals that are finding doppelgangers of important
people in the Ministry and after plastic surgery, are replacing them. To this
end, Gambit becomes an Irish tramp called Terry Walton and Purdey becomes a
common gangsters moll called Lolita – however, each doesn’t realise that the
other is in fact the real Gambit or Purdey. During the quotes I will use their
cover names as they are acting out their alter-ego’s.
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"TERRY WALTON" |
"LOLITA" |
STEED: I’ve
certainly not seen that pump action shotgun.
GAMBIT: No? What’s
wrong with it? Damn fine piece.
STEED: It’s not a
gentleman’s gun. I’ve just not seen it.
THEY BOTH SHOOT A
CLAY PIGEON EACH
GAMBIT: OK, so we
can both shoot. Peace?
STEED: I’m not
annoyed with you, Gambit. After all, you can’t help your background.
GAMBIT: Might be
fun…might be. Purdey at least will find it amusing.
STEED: She isn’t
gonna know. If I’m right and doubles are being infiltrated, how do we know it
is Purdey?
GAMBIT: No two
girls could have a figure like that.
GAMBIT: Do you
remember that time on the river, Purdey?
PURDEY: What?
GAMBIT: We were in
a boat.
PURDEY: I hope so,
if we were on a river.
PURDEY KNOCKS ON
GAMBIT’S DOOR
PURDEY (in an American accent): Alright, Mike Gambit, we know
you’re in there. Come out with your hands high.
HE OPENS THE DOOR
AND PURDEY HOLDS HER HANDS OUT LIKE A GUN.
PURDEY: Assume the
position. (Gambit
goes to embrace her but she ducks under his arms and goes into his apartment) Trust you to think of that
position.
PURDEY: I have just
been having lunch with Torrence at his request.
GAMBIT: He probably
fancies you.
PURDEY: No, no, it
was purely an official engagement. Although he did look at me strangely a
couple of times. He’s definitely a ladies man, he sort of wears fake tan and
keeps fit.
GAMBIT: And he
fancies you.
PRATER: Walton, I
want you to meet, Lolita.
WALTON (laughs): Lolita, is it?
LOLITA: I can’t
help it, my mum liked the film. She said it reminded her of my dad. And if
you’re thinking of calling me, Lo, I’ll smash your face in.
WALTON: Charmed,
I’m sure.
PRATER: Mind you,
there’s quite a lot of work to do with Purdey.
WALTON: (looks at Lolita) Yes, I can see that.
PRATER: Now, now,
now, I want you to know each other well…very well. I want there to be a
rapport. An intercourse.
PRATER LEAVES AND
WALTON AND LOLITA EYE EACH OTHER
WALTON: He wants us
to get to know each other very well. A rapport. In-ter-course.
LOLITA: Not
bloomin’ likely!
WALTON: By george,
she’s got it.
LOLITA: No, no, no,
Purdey wouldn’t do that.
WALTON: And what
would you know about Purdey?
LOLITA: What would
you know about Purdey?
WALTON: I’ve read
all the details…about her…and me (he pinches Lolita’s backside)
LOLITA: Oh! Gambit
wouldn’t do that.
WALTON: Wouldn’t
he? (points
to file)
Says down here, he would. It says she feels very strongly about Gambit.
LOLITA: Well, if
he’s anything like you, she must be potty.
WALTON: What’s
wrong with me? I’m supposed to be a dead ringer for the real Gambit.
LOLITA: Looks maybe
(pulls out
photo of Gambit from file and smiles) but Gambit, the real Gambit, he’s got style he
has…at least according to the report.
WALTON: OK, so I’m
no Gambit. But you’re no Purdey either…she’s a lady.
LOLITA: Who says
I’m not a lady?
WALTON: You do.
Every time you open you’re nasty little mouth.
PRATER: And how are
we doing?
LOLITA: Oh, we were
just discussing the merits of one another, wasn’t we?
PRATER: But the
most important of all – togetherness. I want to feel that you two absolutely
trust, respect and adore each other. (They smile at him and he leaves the room)
LOLITA: Oh, belt
up!
LOLITA: You mean
you’re not the real, Gambit?
WALTON: I am now.
LOLITA: You mean
you…
WALTON: I did. And
judging by this little black book of telephone numbers I found on him, I think
I’m going to enjoy being Gambit.
STEED: Your man is
in the cellar, safely tucked away. Prater trained him well too. Same habits as
me. (Frowns) I bet he’s halfway through my
61 claret.
PURDEY: Alright go
on, do it! The way you killed the real Gambit.
GAMBIT: What? (gives Steed a puzzled look and
then smiles at Purdey and pretends to be Walton) And what would you care about
Gambit?
PURDEY: He was ten
times the better man than you.
GAMBIT: Only ten?
PURDEY: A thousand
times better!
GAMBIT: The report
was right then, she did care about him.
PURDEY: Care? Of
course I cared! If he was here now I’d…
GAMBIT: Give him a
big kiss? (winks)
PURDEY: You mean
Gambit is…
STEED: Gambit is
PURDEY: The whole
time?
GAMBIT: The whole
time, Lolita…or should I call you, Lo?
PURDEY: Why
you…give you a big kiss.
GAMBIT: It was all
part of the cover.
PURDEY: Me and my
nasty little mouth.
GAMBIT: Acting,
pure acting.
PURDEY: You didn’t
fool me for an instant.
GAMBIT: I haven’t
forgotten about that big kiss.
PURDEY: I haven’t
forgotten about that little black book.
GAMBIT: (derisively) Lolita.
STEED:
Irreplaceable.
FOR SCREEN
CAPTURES GO HERE
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