ARE YOU DOING THIS JUST TO UPSET ME?

(Tune:  Red River Valley)

Are you doing this just to upset me?

Are you running to see if I'll chase?

Well I've got news for you, Mr Hotshot,

I could put seven more in your place.

And you won't find a life to beat this one.

You are living beyond your success.

I admit that I may miss your folly,

But that's all that I'm going to confess.

You're so sure that I can't cope without you,

Well I'm sure I won't notice you've left.

I'll be out every night at wild parties,

Not at home, on my own and bereft.

So I won't follow after to beg you,

To return and remain at my side.

For that smooth, English charm's overrated

And this gifted PI has her pride.